I can’t imagine myself with a name other than Kalyanee. Many people mispronounce it. Some refuse to say it. Some have even asked if they could call me something else. I had people want to call me Kali and here in the Middle East, some have even suggested changing my name entirely – perhaps to something simpler, like Sara. But I always refuse. I lure them with an excuse that Kalyanee is such a beautiful name and how could anyone want to change that?
When my family and I immigrated to the US from Cambodia, all of us had difficulty with our names. In a state like Texas, names like Sok Sann, Vann, Sophaline, Makkara, Kunthear, Phalkun, Kalyanee and Sihakmony were not frequently heard of, but frequently made fun of. Jokes abounded and many feelings were hurt. It was no surprise when our family naturalized as American citizens, my father and a few of my brothers and sisters decided to change their names. Sok Sann became Peter, Makkara became Alex, Phalkun became Jacqueline, and Sihakmony became Jonathan.
Another family, also moving to Texas, is facing a similar problem and asking similar questions.
Mohammed and his family, mentioned earlier in the blog, is finally being resettled in Texas with his family, after waiting over a year in Jordan for the final good news. When we met with them in Jordan, they looked happy, but also a little worried.
Mohammed and Zina told us the family had been thinking a lot about whether or not they should keep or change their names. The DHS (Department of Homeland Security) officers in Jordan suggested that it might make their lives in the US easier if they changed their names. They even strongly advised persons with names like Saddam, Husssein, or Osama to change their names completely.
Their sons Saad and Ali were already determined to change their names to Cedric and Alex. They even have new email addresses to reflect their new names. But Mohammed is still hesitating whether to take the big step. After everything he and his family have suffered, he doesn’t think it’s such a big deal. It may make it easier for him to be considered at a job interview, to be hired, or even to step on a plane without stringent security checks. The only problem was that he had no name in mind to change his name to.
Mohammed looked at us and begged us to help him. David and I looked at each and wondered if Mohammed was doing the right thing. What’s in a name anyway? Everything. One’s life, one’s dreams, one’s identity, one’s past. His family and his parents, when they were still living, all knew him as Mohammed. He married as Mohammed, he became a distinguished lawyer in Iraq as Mohammed, he gave birth to his children as Mohammed. Now his life will change and his memories and his past will change with it.
When we arrived in the US, my family changed their names to fit in, to assimilate, to accommodate, to be American, and to make life just a little bit easier for them. When Mohammed and his family come to the US, they will also do the same. In Iraq, Iraqis are also changing their names to avoid being targeted for being either Sunni or Shi’a depending on the neighborhood they live in.
These days, it seems the changes of names say more about the societies that we live in than the people themselves who have been forced to change their names.
When my family and I immigrated to the US from Cambodia, all of us had difficulty with our names. In a state like Texas, names like Sok Sann, Vann, Sophaline, Makkara, Kunthear, Phalkun, Kalyanee and Sihakmony were not frequently heard of, but frequently made fun of. Jokes abounded and many feelings were hurt. It was no surprise when our family naturalized as American citizens, my father and a few of my brothers and sisters decided to change their names. Sok Sann became Peter, Makkara became Alex, Phalkun became Jacqueline, and Sihakmony became Jonathan.
Another family, also moving to Texas, is facing a similar problem and asking similar questions.
Mohammed and his family, mentioned earlier in the blog, is finally being resettled in Texas with his family, after waiting over a year in Jordan for the final good news. When we met with them in Jordan, they looked happy, but also a little worried.
Mohammed and Zina told us the family had been thinking a lot about whether or not they should keep or change their names. The DHS (Department of Homeland Security) officers in Jordan suggested that it might make their lives in the US easier if they changed their names. They even strongly advised persons with names like Saddam, Husssein, or Osama to change their names completely.
Their sons Saad and Ali were already determined to change their names to Cedric and Alex. They even have new email addresses to reflect their new names. But Mohammed is still hesitating whether to take the big step. After everything he and his family have suffered, he doesn’t think it’s such a big deal. It may make it easier for him to be considered at a job interview, to be hired, or even to step on a plane without stringent security checks. The only problem was that he had no name in mind to change his name to.
Mohammed looked at us and begged us to help him. David and I looked at each and wondered if Mohammed was doing the right thing. What’s in a name anyway? Everything. One’s life, one’s dreams, one’s identity, one’s past. His family and his parents, when they were still living, all knew him as Mohammed. He married as Mohammed, he became a distinguished lawyer in Iraq as Mohammed, he gave birth to his children as Mohammed. Now his life will change and his memories and his past will change with it.
When we arrived in the US, my family changed their names to fit in, to assimilate, to accommodate, to be American, and to make life just a little bit easier for them. When Mohammed and his family come to the US, they will also do the same. In Iraq, Iraqis are also changing their names to avoid being targeted for being either Sunni or Shi’a depending on the neighborhood they live in.
These days, it seems the changes of names say more about the societies that we live in than the people themselves who have been forced to change their names.
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